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Mental Health, a poem... "In My Words" By Hannah Etheridge

Mental health.

In my words.


What matters doesn’t matter but it rips you to your core

makes you question every motive of everyone including yours

as you spiral down the dark dark path the eyes that don’t look stare

and underneath the blanket of judgement you feel so truly bare


you close the doors and the curtains, too push it all away

because you cannot be loved like this – not in such a state

so, you cancel appointments and meetings with friends

your life becomes small you think that this will mend

all the thoughts as they lessen as you extinguish the fire

to remove the external but the problems is higher

in here, in you, that’s where it exists but that just makes it worse as if you created this


the beast, the beast when it leaves oh the light, you are finally you again,

and your spunky and bright

and your thinking is bouncy and creative and clever

and you think, I won’t go back to that - I’ve learnt this time. NEVER

and you've learnt all these lessons - if your lucky like me

I come back with these treasures thinking this time “I’m free”


And then slowly, unnoticeably, trigger by trigger

The length of the thoughts that you cling on to get bigger

And then you cannot tell what is real, what is fake

Who it is you can trust and what’s best for your own sake


Then the cortisol kicks in anxiety’s triggered

You don’t want to eat but your tired – go figure

Because nothing makes sense when you live in your head

A perpetual wheel of starvation and dread

but you know when you’re out of it something that’s better will be given to you and you’ll have it forever


Those treasures – those treasures you can give them to others,

so that they understand that they can indeed recover.

Write stuff down, make a note, look for patterns, try to joke

Because you have it forever – so be its friend and stay woke

But most of all don’t give up, don’t give in, get some help with this,

No research can evolve if we try to dismiss

What is clearly a part of us, hard as that seems

It does not have to take your life or stamp on your dreams.


And I know soon I may not feel like this, so I’ll keep this poem to remember

how capable I am when times get tough and I feel tender

When you forget your worth, when you think that you don’t matter

Remember it’s not you it’s the result of mental chatter


Its inside your head, and soon it will leave

Might take weeks, might take months but it will, and your patience is key.

You are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not you.

There’s a lot to be learnt if you are willing to.


Educate yourself on yourself you’re your biggest investment

treat the people you Love with respect – they’re your weapons

don’t be scared you’ll come back – every time you’ll survive

be as kind as you can, and you’ll become more alive.


They say humility is hard but when you’ve learnt it, you’re set free

And I think this is something to work on if you struggle mentally

“humility is not thinking less of your self its about thinking of yourself less”

Selfless, self-less, less self, do you see?

Its hard to grasp that term in its total purity.


so, I’ll say this, look outward, move outward, try not to hide, but choose

people who know what you go through

people you trust to let you be you

especially through the tough times, no opinions, no rescue

mission

Just a little understanding as you await your remission.

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